FAMILY RESPONSIBILITIES

Most parents want their children to share household tasks such as cleaning, meal preparation, or washing up. There are many advantages to having children help with household tasks. Children learn about their role in the family and the importance of helping others. They can see the results of what happens when they do not follow through with their responsibilities. As children become older, they can take on new responsibilities that help them develop a sense of independence and self-reliance.

An important benefit of children helping with household responsibilities is that it teaches them the skills they will need when they have an apartment or house of their own. If children are given the responsibility for washing the laundry and cleaning the bathroom as they are growing up, they will know how to do these tasks when on their own.

Although there are many advantages to children helping with family responsibilities, it is often difficult to get cooperative, cheerful help from reluctant children. Communication among all family members is the key to the success of having children help with household tasks. Involve the child in the decision making process. Rather than telling them what they should do, ask them what they would be willing to do. Another option would be to provide them with a list of tasks that need to be completed and have them pick out what they would like to do. Short, once-a-week family meetings are extremely helpful.

Children have a tremendous need for fairness. If mom, dad or siblings are not helping around the house, it will be difficult to convince the child that they need to be responsible for certain tasks. You can make household responsibilities easier by setting rules for shared spaces of the home. For example, all papers in the living room need to be picked up by bedtime or they will be tossed out. Then, make sure you follow through on the consequences set.

Avoid blaming and labeling. Try humorous or creative ways to remind children of their responsibilities. For example rather than telling your child he/she is lazy for not picking up clothing left on the floor, ask if clothing is being left for the invisible maid. Remember children are still learning about household responsibilities. Offer praise, thanks, and encouragement…even if the meal your child prepared was a little different than what is normally prepared.

Finally, don’t force the issue. If the child refuses to fulfill their responsibilities, calmly explain that there will be no friends over, car available, or computer usage until after the work is done. Again, following through on the consequences is key.

It is safe to say that children’ household activities and responsibilities help them to explore the general world of work, develop helping behaviors, and grow toward independence. Involving children in household tasks provides families an opportunity for communication, problem solving, role modeling, discussion of gender roles, and potential reduction of family stress.

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