Diary 39

Dear Diary,

I don’t understand! I mean, it’s not right, yet it’s still happening as we

speak. I just can’t believe it. How sick can it get?

Why is it that women get molested? Why is it that people in general get

molested?

Peter Maass’s article about Bosnia that we read today in Vanity Fair

was like a gun that triggered the lost memory in my mind. Here are these

women in Bosnia, getting molested, raped, harassed, and even impregnated

by soldiers that want to feel powerful by depriving them of their

womanhood, pride, and self-esteem.

Why?

After reading the article about the atrocities in Bosnia, my memory

returned and made everything seem like it happened yesterday. I was only

six when a friend of my father’s molested me in his home. Yet to this day, I

haven’t told my parents. Keeping this secret inside was very hard for me.

There were times when I felt that I had to tell someone, but I didn’t know

who. Reading the article makes me feel like I’m not the only one who felt

alone. Although I’m so many miles away from Bosnia, I wish there was

something I could do.

When I think about this, I think of how grateful Zlata and her whole

family are because they have escaped from all of this. This very same thing

could have happened to Zlata or any other person that would have remained

behind.

The mere fact that the story revived the lost memory within my mind

gave me goose bumps. On the way home from school, I felt like reaching

out to any one that had a similar story. Even standing at the bus stop, I

realized that the women and girls standing next to me may have been,

molested, harassed, or even impregnated at one point in their lives.

Then there was the bus ride home. My mind was working like a

shotgun with every bullet acting as a question. Round one—What if the

elderly woman sitting across from me was sexually molested by her uncle

when she was young? Round two—How about that man standing in the

back? Had he ever harassed a little girl?

All of these questions ran through my mind at the thought of the story

and of all the traumatizing things that women faced. I was glad in a way

that Peter Maass had uncovered an issue that I believe we should all be

aware of, and also to realize that we are not alone.

His story was written to expose the war in Bosnia and its similarity to

the Holocaust. Knowing that people are getting murdered and that

thousands of women were being raped is shocking. It makes me both sad

and angry because history is indeed repeating itself.

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