Chapter Fifteen

Adam peeked into the bedroom to see Holly still sleeping soundly in the bed. He smiled. She looked like a sated kitten, curled up with her arms around his pillow. It was amazing that in such a short time he couldn’t imagine life without her.

He knew via his own upbringing that such a situation could work and work well for all parties involved, but seeing it, experiencing it firsthand was more validating.

And speaking of, he needed to phone his parents. They’d be interested to know about Holly, and he nor Ethan and Ryan had talked to them in over a month.

He quietly withdrew from the bedroom and walked down the hall to the living room. Ethan looked up from the computer. “She still sleeping?”

Adam nodded. “I think we wore her slap out.”

Ethan smiled and Adam marveled at how settled and content his brother looked. “You seen Ryan? I thought we’d call Mom and let her know about Holly.”

Concern flared in Ethan’s eyes. “He went out to the barn. I think he’s in a lot of pain today, though he wouldn’t say so. Got pissed off at me when I asked.”

Adam swore. Ryan had been doing so much better lately. Much of the darkness in his eyes had faded, and he knew Holly had everything to do with it, but Ryan had improved physically as well since his return from Iraq. He was a far cry from the battered shell of a man Adam and Ethan had collected from the Army Hospital a year ago, but his leg still bothered him on occasion.

He turned and strode from the living room toward the back door. Not bothering with his coat, he crossed the short distance from the cabin to the barn. He slipped inside and saw Ryan sitting on a hay bale in the back. As he drew closer, he could see Ryan’s face drawn in pain. Sweat beaded Ryan’s brow, and he was pale.

Ryan was bent over massaging the area above his knee. When Adam was a few feet away, Ryan looked up and saw him. He dropped his hands and stood up. Ryan cried out as his leg buckled. Adam reached over and yanked his brother up against him to prevent him from falling.

“I’m fine,” Ryan gritted out.

“No, you’re not fine, damn it. Stop trying to hide from the rest of us, for God’s sake.”

“Just leave it, Adam. I can deal with this on my own.”

“You could,” Adam agreed. “But don’t be stupid. Ethan and I are here to help. And now Holly.”

“I don’t want her to know,” Ryan said fiercely.

Adam blinked in surprise. “Here, sit down,” he said, shoving Ryan back down onto the hay. “Now what the fuck is your problem?”

Ryan rubbed absently at his leg.

“Is there anything I can do? Do you want a pill?”

Ryan shook his head. “I don’t want any fucking pills. It’s just a bad morning. I don’t know why the fuck it hurts. It just does.”

“Maybe we should take you back to the doctor, let him check you out again.” “There’s nothing he can do.”

Adam sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Damn it, Ryan, don’t be so fucking difficult. I wish you’d talk to me. I still don’t have a goddamn clue what the hell happened over there.”

Pain lashed across Ryan’s face before his eyes turned cold and stony. “There’s nothing to talk about. I’ll get over it.”

Adam knew the subject was officially closed. Ryan could be a brick wall when he put his mind to it. He’d like nothing better than to kick his little brother’s ass, but it wouldn’t do a damn bit of good. Ryan wouldn’t budge. Not until he was ready.

“I was going to call Mom and Dad. Thought you might want to talk to them.” Ryan waved his hand. “You go ahead. I’ll be there in a minute.”

Adam started to argue, but Ryan stopped him. “Just go. Please.”

It was the please that did it. Ryan rarely said please, and pain edged his voice. Adam knew he didn’t want to be weak in front of his brothers. Anger choked him. Anger at whatever the hell had destroyed so much in his brother.

Adam turned around and walked out of the barn.

* * *

Holly burrowed deeper under the covers, not wanting to leave her warm nest. She was tired, deliciously exhausted, and she had about as much motivation to get up and move as she did a trip to the dentist.

She closed her eyes and relived the ecstasy she’d experienced as the three men had made love to her. Alone they were a force to be reckoned with, but together they were positively mind-blowing.

She missed them already. That feeling drove her out of the bed as she went in search of them. She pulled on one of Adam’s discarded shirts and let it fall to her knees. She walked barefooted down the hall, hoping to find one of them in the living room so she could indulge in a good snuggle session.

She found Ethan on the couch. He smiled at her and patted the spot beside him. She immediately curled herself around him, loving the warmth that emanated from his body.

“Want a blanket?” he asked as he wrapped his arms around her.

She shook her head. “You’re fine.” She burrowed further into his arms until his heat had soaked into her body. “Where is everybody?”

“Ryan’s out in the barn and Adam’s on the phone in the kitchen.” “Who’s he talking to?”

“Our parents.”

She stiffened. Until now she hadn’t given their parents a single thought. They’d existed as a non-entity. She remembered Adam mentioning them once when he explained that his mother, like her, participated in a relationship with three men.

“Something wrong?” Ethan asked.

“Your parents…do they know about me?” He smiled down at her. “They do now.”

She couldn’t control the look of dismay, and she knew Ethan saw it. He arched an eyebrow. “You look less than thrilled.”

“Do they know everything?”

Ethan continued to stare at her. “I’m sure Adam has filled them in on the situation.” Holly groaned. “Not the image I want to present to your parents.”

“Oh hush. They’ll love you. They’ll be thrilled we found you.”

Adam walked in holding the phone to his ear. “All right, Dad. I’ll give you to Ethan, and I’ll talk to you later.”

He handed the phone to Ethan, and Holly moved away. She felt awkward being talked about. She headed to the kitchen to escape the conversation. As she poured a glass of juice from the fridge, Ryan stepped in the back door.

She smiled shyly at him. “Good morning.”

Pain glittered brightly in his eyes, and he limped as he walked.

“Ryan, what’s wrong?” she exclaimed. She set her juice down and rushed over to him.

As soon as she touched him, he stiffened. “I’m fine.” She backed off, hurt at his demeanor.

He closed his eyes and put out a placating hand. “I’m sorry. I’m fine, really.”

She curled her hand back around her juice and maintained her distance. She didn’t know what to say, so she said nothing.

Ryan stared at her for a long moment then limped into the living room. His rebuff stung, but more than that, she wondered what had happened.

She sipped at her juice and sighed. Living with three unique personalities could get exhausting. If she were more secure in the relationship maybe she wouldn’t be on eggshells all the time, but she was still learning all three of them.

Ethan was so open, and Ryan was his complete opposite. Reserved, shut off from the rest of the world. And Adam, well, she was still trying to figure him out, too.

“Don’t take it personally,” Adam said.

She looked up to see him standing in the doorway Ryan had left through. “What’s wrong with him?”

Adam opened the fridge and took out a beer. He popped the cap and took a long swig. “It’s his leg. He got a leg full of shrapnel over in Iraq. Did a lot of damage. He’s getting better, but it still gives him a lot of pain from time to time.”

“And he won’t talk about it to anyone?” she asked. Adam shook his head. “I wish to hell he would.”

Holly set her glass down and ran her finger around the rim. “Your parents. They’re like us, aren’t they?”

Adam nodded.

“So they won’t think anything bad about me.”

She tried not to make it a question, but somehow it came out inquiring anyway. Adam smiled. “Relax, baby. They’ll love you.”

Ethan ambled into the kitchen. Adam looked up from his beer. “You done with Mom and Dad?”

“Yeah, Ryan’s talking to Mom now. I expect he’s getting an earful. She’s pretty worried about him.”

Adam looked over at Holly again. “You probably ought to get packed up today.

We’ll head out early in the morning.” She smiled. “Not much to pack.”

“We’ll remedy that in Denver,” Ethan said. “We’ll take you shopping for whatever you need.”

She grinned mischievously. “Even underwear?” “Especially underwear,” Ethan replied.

“If I had my way, you wouldn’t wear underwear,” Adam murmured close to her ear.

Ryan walked into the kitchen, his features drawn. He slid the phone across the bar then turned and limped out.

Holly followed his progress, her heart aching at the pain in his expression. What would it take to get beyond the barriers he’d erected?

* * *

She wasn’t sure what had awakened her, but her eyes fluttered open and searched the darkness for what had disturbed her sleep.

Holly strained her ears for the source of the noise she’d heard. A low moan filtered down the hall then an inarticulate cry. She sat up and glanced frantically around. Adam and Ethan were sound asleep in bed next to her, but Ryan was gone.

As carefully as she could so as not to wake the guys up, she eased from the bed. The house was chilly, and she shrugged on Adam’s flannel shirt for warmth.

She padded down the hall toward the noise, ending up at Ryan’s door. She pushed it open and peered inside. Ryan was on the bed in a tangle of sheets. The comforter was twisted and lay discarded on the floor.

He moaned again and stirred restlessly, his head shaking from side to side.

“No,” he said in a thick voice. “God, no. Stop for God’s sake, she can’t take any more.”

Holly moved closer, shocked to see Ryan’s face bathed in tears. Her chest constricted painfully. She sat down on the bed next to Ryan and put her hand on his forehead.

“Ryan, it’s okay. It’s me, Holly. Wake up.”

He let out a torturous cry, the sound hitting her directly in the heart. She wrapped her arms tightly around him, pulling him against her. She held him, rocking back and forth, running her hands through his tangled hair.

In response, he curled his arms around her, squeezing her tightly against him. “I’m here, Ryan,” she whispered. “You don’t have to be afraid any more.” “Holly?”

His voice was muffled by her chest. He sounded confused. Uncertain. She trailed her fingers through his hair, soothing him. “I’m here.”

He tensed in her arms then pulled slightly away. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

But she wouldn’t let him shove her away. “Talk to me, Ryan,” she said softly. “What happened to you?”

He leaned back closing his eyes. She followed him down to the pillow, curling her arm around his stomach. She waited, not pressing him. She sensed an internal battle raging.

He scrubbed a hand over his face and took a deep breath. “We got caught with our pants down behind enemy lines. Our mission went down the toilet in a matter of minutes. Most of my team managed to get out but I got a leg full of shrapnel from a mortar round. I fell behind. They fucking left me there.”

She sucked in her breath. Granted she knew next to nothing about military matters, but wasn’t their creed never to leave behind a fallen comrade?

His breath came out wavery, and she knew he struggled to keep his emotions in check.

“I wanted them to go. I didn’t want to weigh them down. But they left me. I was captured and taken to a shit hole.”

His words came out rambling, in a rush as if he had a hard time formulating his thoughts. This was likely the first time he’d talked about the experience at all.

“For two weeks, I saw and endured things I never imagined.” His voice came out in a croak, breaking at the end.

“There was one soldier. She was British. They wouldn’t leave her alone. They enjoyed tormenting her. After six days, she died and they left her there to rot.”

Tears streamed down his cheeks. She held him closer, kissing his chest, trying to keep her own tears at bay.

“After she died, they turned their attention to me and another American soldier being held there. My leg was infected. I was running a fever and half out of my mind, but I’ll never forget the pain. ”

He broke off again, his chest heaving with unspent emotion.

She pressed her forehead to his, her tears mingling with his. She hugged him to her, desperately wanting to alleviate his pain.

He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her breasts. “I need you.”

She let him shove her shirt over her head, and soon they were naked, flesh pressing tightly against flesh. She kissed him hotly, allowing the full breadth of her passion and loving to flow into him.

Tonight she was the aggressor, making love to the man of her dreams. Their tongues mated and dueled. She rained a trail of kisses down his jaw to his neck and then down his chest to his taut belly.

His hands tangled in her hair, pulling her closer, holding her tightly. Her hands smoothed over the hard planes of his body, touching, feeling, showing him her love.

She straddled him, cupping his hardness in the cradle of her pelvis. She bent forward, sinking her hands into his hair. She pulled him to her mouth, kissing him fiercely. Then she reached down and grasped his cock, guiding him into her hot wetness.

Her fingertips trailed down his chest as she rose up, threw her head back and began to ride. He cupped her breasts in his rough palms, thumbing her nipples, plumping the soft flesh in his hands.

They rode fast, hard, each reaching for the waiting pleasure. She could feel him tighten beneath her, deep inside her, and knew he was close to his release. She felt the pinch of her abdomen, the wonderful pressure as it built, spread and finally burst into an explosion of color and ecstasy.

She leaned forward, panting against his chest as she bucked and writhed in her orgasm. Then she felt the flood of semen into her womb. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close, murmuring things in her ear she couldn’t make out.

He shifted enough that they rolled so she was cradled in his arms. He stroked her hair and kissed her forehead. “I love you,” he whispered.

She tucked her head underneath his chin, letting the words spill over her. She knew he didn’t utter them lightly. She didn’t say anything. She just held him until she felt the even breathing of sleep overtake him.

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