Chapter Twenty-Nine. Casey sank down in her chair, trying desperately not to think about Leslie with Michael

"Idiot."

Casey sank down in her chair, trying desperately not to think about Leslie with Michael. The rational part of her brain said they couldn't possibly still be sleeping together. Right? But the other part, the part that was fueling her jealously, said why else was Leslie rushing off to be with him on a Friday night.

Idiot.

Jesus! You never fall for a straight woman. Never. She thought she'd learned that lesson ten years ago. Apparently not. Straight women are just curious.

Okay. She could get past this. They were partners. They were friends. That's where it ended. This silly crush--this attraction--would simply go away over time.

Surely.

"Idiot."

"Who are you talking to?"

She nearly fell out of her chair and was embarrassed by the gasp--and scream--that left her lips.

"Jesus Christ! You could get shot doing that!"

Leslie laughed. "Yeah. I see how quickly you pulled your weapon."

Casey spun around. "What the hell are you doing here, anyway?"

"I came to talk to you."

Casey shook her head. "No. Come on, Les. Please, let's don't do this. This is silly. You're engaged. You live with a guy. And I'm an idiot," she said.

Leslie walked closer. "An idiot because you're attracted to me?"

"I'm trying to get over that."

"Are you now?"

"Yeah. In fact, I'm going to work on it this weekend."

"Why?"

Casey raised her eyebrows. "Did you forget about that cardinal sin?"

"So you're going to go back to the argument that I'm just curious? A straight woman playing a little game with you?" She moved closer. "Is that what you really think?"

It's what she wanted to think. Her insecurities told her that's what it was. Her insecurities told her that this beautiful woman who was engaged to be married couldn't possibly find her attractive, couldn't possibly desire her. But when their eyes met, she thought no such thing.

"Curious is not the right word, Casey. I don't want to touch another woman's breasts. But I want to touch yours. I'm not curious to know how another woman's skin tastes, but I want to know how yours tastes," she whispered. "And I don't want to kiss another woman, Casey. But God, I want to kiss you, and I want to make love with you."

With their eyes locked together, Casey was unable to speak, unable to think.

"So you won't get over it this weekend. But you have got to give me some time to get my life sorted out, Casey. Please don't run from this." She closed her eyes. "Please don't doubt me. I'm doing the best I can here."

Casey finally moved, lifting her hand and touching Leslie's face. She let her fingers move gently across her skin, aware it was the most intimate touch they'd shared. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"It's not a game for me, Casey. But I'm not ready for this yet, and I don't think you're ready." She covered Casey's hand with her own, holding it close. "I don't want to screw this up. I don't want to hurt you or me, and I don't want to ruin our new friendship over this. But we're not ready yet."

"I know." She reached for her. "Come here."

She was right. Everything she said was so right. No, they probably weren't ready for a physical relationship. Because it wasn't going to be just physical. And they had a working relationship to deal with as well. It occurred to her that any sane person would have ended things right then before they even got started. But a sane person hadn't looked into her eyes, hadn't seen the glimmer of desire, hadn't been innocently touched by her, causing her own desire to flare. A sane person couldn't possibly see past the fear in her eyes to see the promise.

So she pulled her close, wrapping her arms around Leslie's body and just held her, letting their bodies get acquainted with each other. No, they weren't ready. But it felt so good to hold her, to hear her heartbeat, to feel her breath, and to feel her tremble, just from being close.

Imagine what making love would be like.

She pulled back, needing to end this before her body took over, but Leslie's fingers threaded through her hair, touching her, pulling her back, pulling her close again.

"Kiss me."

Casey stared at her lips. Was it a command? Or had she only imagined it? But no, Leslie's lips parted, Leslie's hand at her neck guided her, beckoning her. She didn't resist. She took what was offered. She just wasn't prepared for the softness, for the aching sweetness that greeted her. She moaned. Or was it Leslie? She lifted her head, staring into those dark eyes that were swimming in desire, wondering if Leslie's thoughts were as jumbled as her own at the moment.

But then Leslie pulled her back down, and a fire was ignited. Her mouth opened, her tongue demanding entry, and Leslie complied, her hands roaming freely, pulling Casey tight against her. Any restraint she was clinging to vanished as her own hands slipped down to Leslie's hips, grasping her, pulling her hard against her body.

She felt Leslie's hands digging into her back, heard the nearly primal sounds coming from her throat as their hips melded together. She pulled her mouth away, needing to breathe, needing to think, but Leslie's thighs parted, and she lost her will to think. She clutched Leslie's hips, pulling her hard against her leg, imagining the wetness she would find there as Leslie ground herself against her.

Mentally they weren't ready, no, but God, physically, they were about to explode. When was the last time she'd felt this kind of fire from kissing a woman? They were so close, clinging to each other, she wasn't even sure where her body ended and Leslie's began. But when Leslie lifted her shirt and she felt the cool night air against her skin, when she felt the burning warmth of Leslie's fingers as they crept higher, she knew they should stop. She could tell by Leslie's actions that her body had taken over her mind, overriding her sensibilities as their passion raged.

But this wasn't how she wanted their first time to be, a hurried encounter out on her deck, as if they were sneaking around, as if it was some sort of an affair. No. She wanted Leslie to be able to give herself freely, not have to feel guilty for making love so hurriedly just because their need to touch had become too much. So she tore her mouth from Leslie's, taking her hands and holding them between their bodies, trying to still her racing heart.

"Oh, God," Leslie whispered. "I'm sorry. I--"

"Shhh, no. And stopping has nothing to do with being gallant on my part." She bent her head, lightly brushing Leslie's lips with her own again. "I just didn't want our first time to be like this."

Leslie stepped away, her eyes wild. "I completely lost my mind there." She tried to smile. "I knew it would be like that with you. I knew my body would react like that." She walked to the railing, leaning over, catching her breath. "I've never wanted someone so much before like that." She turned back around. "I thought I would be afraid."

"Afraid of me?"

"Afraid of this," she said. "Of us. "

"We can take it as slow as you need, Les."

She smiled. "Slow? I don't think my body understands that word." She straightened. "I should go. Before we..."

Casey nodded. "I know."

Leslie stopped when she got to the steps of the deck and turned back around. "You're an awesome kisser, by the way."

She fled then, leaving Casey smiling after her.

Awesome, huh?

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