Chapter Forty

Casey stood by the door in the waiting room, watching Tori stare broodingly out the window, her back to the room. Sam was seated in one of the visitor's chairs, her hands folded in her lap, her eyes staring at nothing. Casey made herself move. Sam looked up and offered a weak smile as she sat down beside her.

"How's she holding up?"

"I'm not sure. She won't talk to me." Sam leaned closer, resting her hand on her thigh and squeezing. "I'm scared. For the first time, she doesn't see me, she doesn't hear me. I can't seem to reach her." Sam leaned into her shoulder. "For the first time, I can't reach her."

Casey put her arm around Sam and pulled her close. "She's in shock. Sikes is like her brother, you know. And she's got her hands on his throat, trying to stop the bleeding, trying to keep him alive. She's still in cop mode, Sam. It's nothing to do with you."

"I know. I just can't stand to see her like this. It's like she's gone to another place." Sam pulled away slightly and looked at her. "I imagine it's the same place she went to when her family was killed. A place where there's no comfort. And I don't want her to go there alone."

"She'll be okay, Sam. She'll come back."

Sam didn't say anything as she leaned her head on Casey's shoulder again.

"I don't suppose there's any news?" Casey asked.

"No. We haven't heard a word." Sam turned. "Where's Leslie?"

"She went to her old apartment to get some clothes. I think she needed some time alone. John--John Doe--was special. She took it very hard."

Sam sat up again. "What do you mean, old apartment?"

Casey smiled sheepishly.

Sam laughed quietly. "So Tori was right." She nudged Casey playfully. "Good for you."

"I like her a lot."

"And it's mutual?"

"Yes."

"Wonderful. Now I'll have someone to play with while you and Tori fish."

"Thanks, Sam. She's...well, I think she feels a little lost. And I imagine she's going to need someone to talk to."

"And maybe you underestimate her. Love is a very powerful thing, once you accept it. Leslie seems very strong and level-headed to me. I don't think you need to worry about her adjusting, if that's what it is."

Casey smiled. "No, she's adjusted quite well. I just mean how to deal with coworkers, friends, family."

"I've found that people, as a rule, just want you to be happy. Now family--"

"Oh, that's right, you still haven't told yours."

Sam blushed slightly. "It's not something you casually mention in a phone call. And it's not like I've been to Denver to see them."

They both turned when the door opened. Leslie stood there, her eyes red and puffy. Casey got up and went to her, pulling her into a hug. She didn't say anything. There was nothing to say.

Leslie squeezed her tight. "Thank you," she whispered.

Casey nodded and pulled away. "Come sit with Sam." She motioned to the window where Tori stood. "I need to go talk to her."

Leslie squeezed her arm affectionately. "Yes, go. I'm fine."

Casey walked quietly over, standing next to Tori, staring out the same window, wondering if Tori saw anything or was simply lost in her own mind. She stood silently by her, letting Tori feel her presence. Finally, she nudged her shoulder gently. "I love you, you know."

There was a moment of silence, then she heard Tori take a shaky breath. "It's my fault. I really fucked things up."

"No. I'm not going to let you bear the burden of this."

Tori turned away from the window, her eyes swimming in tears. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

Casey moved without thinking, pulling Tori into her arms and holding her tight. She'd never seen Tori cry before, never seen her break down. She doubted anyone had. Not like this, with deep sobs choking her throat. Casey didn't know what to say, so she said what she thought she'd want to hear if it were reversed.

"You did what you had to do. He had a knife. We all thought it was Patrick. Even if you knew it wasn't, you still had to take the shot. I'd have taken the shot too, Tori."

She felt Tori's grip loosen, felt her sobs subside. She finally pulled away.

"Thanks, O'Connor," she said as she wiped her eyes with both hands. "If you tell anyone about this, I'll kill you."

"It's between us."

Tori took a deep breath, then wiped her nose with her hand. "Sikes, man. I just can't believe it. He lost so much blood. I should have never sent him--"

"Stop it right now, Tori. Don't you start second-guessing. You can't control everything. You know that."

"They haven't told us a thing. I mean, what if he's brain-dead or something? Then that's my fault too. I kept him alive."

"Yeah. You kept him alive. That's all I'd ask for you to do for me." She met Tori's eyes. "The rest is up to him. He fell in love. He's got someone waiting for him. He'll fight."

Sam watched them, her eyes filling with tears. Tori was in pain and she wasn't reaching out for her. She was reaching out for Casey. She turned to Leslie.

"Casey's being the sister." She wiped at her eyes and smiled. "I love her, you know. She's special."

"I think so."

"Yeah. Look at her. She's trying to bring Tori back to me. Tori wasn't Tori there for a minute."

"It was...it was terrible, actually," Leslie said. "It all happened so fast. I saw what was happening and I couldn't respond fast enough. But Tori, it was like she processed everything in a millisecond and fired. Before I even realized what had happened, she was on John, trying to stop the bleeding."

Sam nodded. "She has a gift. She...she saved me once from a...a situation." Was situation a good word for rape, she wondered? But Tori burst through the door and in the blink of an eye, had taken out every one of them. It was a memory she tried to keep buried, but every so often, it reared its head. Like now. "It was before we were together, you know." She smiled. "We were on the verge of being together though. Anyway, she's great in the field. She doesn't hesitate."

"Has there been any news about John?"

"None."

"What about his family?"

"Malone was calling them. They don't live locally, so I have no idea when they'll be here."

"What about this girl he's been seeing?"

"John Sikes has a girl?" Sam laughed quietly. "I don't think he's ever dated anyone twice."

"Yeah. They've been teasing him. Apparently, he's in love."

"We'll need to find out who it is. She'll want to know."

They both looked up as Tori and Casey walked closer. Sam sent a silent thank you to Casey, then stood, moving into Tori's arms.

"I love you," she murmured into Tori's ear.

"I'm sorry. I lost it. And I didn't want you to see me that way."

"I told you a long time ago that you can't be strong all the time. Let me be strong for you sometimes." She pulled out of her arms and looked at Casey. "But it's a sister thing, right?"

Tori smiled. "Yeah. If I had a sister, I'd want her to be like you, O'Connor."

Sam was surprised at the emotion that crossed Casey's face, surprised at the misting of tears in her eyes. She sometimes forgot that Casey had no family.

"Thanks, Hunter." She cleared her throat. "Make me cry in front of Leslie, why don't you?"

They laughed quietly. The kind of laugh to ease tensions, to lessen the strain of the situation of being in a hospital waiting room...waiting.

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