Beware of Blasting Caps

Tell your kids not to play out by the railroad yards where they are dynamiting. My other half tells me that when he was on his run to Nashville a few days ago, he heard tell of a fellow who bit down on a blasting cap by mistake and blew his lips off.

Opal says that there was such a rush in the shop the other day, with everyone getting ready for the Eastern Star Banquet, that a blue woman's coat was taken by mistake. So if you have it, bring it back.

A hayride was sponsored by the Baptist church and Peggy Hadley was left in the parking lot by mistake, but caught up with the gang later on.

Idgie and Ruth made a group of our kids happy last Saturday by taking them over to Avondale Park to pay a visit to Miss Fancy, the famous elephant who is so popular with young and old alike. Everyone had their picture made with Miss Fancy, and can have them as soon as they come back from the drugstore, Thursday.

Dr. Cleo Threadgoode returned home last Friday night from a visit to the Mayo Clinic, where he had taken little Albert for some tests. We are sorry he did not come home with good news for Ninny. We can only hope the doctors are wrong. Cleo will be back in his office on Monday.

... Dot Weems...

MARCH 15, 1986

Today they were busy eating Cracker Jack and talking. Or at least Mrs. Threadgoode was.

"You know, I was sure hoping I would be home by Easter, but it doesn't look like I'm gonna make it. Mrs. Otis is still having a hard time, but she did sign up for this arts and crafts class they have out here. Your mother-in-law joined up, too. Geneene said that Easter, they were going to hide Easter eggs and invite some schoolchildren to come out and look for them. That should be fun...

"I've always loved Easter, from the time I was a little girl. Loved everything that went with it. Back when we were kids, every Saturday night before Easter, we would all be out in the kitchen dyeing eggs. But Momma Threadgoode was always in charge of dyeing the golden Easter egg.

"Easter morning, we'd all have on new outfits and brand new Buster Brown shoes from Poppa's store. After church, Momma and Poppa would put us on the trolley car and we'd take a ride to Birmingham and back, while they hid about two hundred Easter eggs all over the backyard. There was all kinds of prizes—but the grand prize was for the one who found the golden egg.

"I was thirteen the year I found the golden egg. We'd been running around the yard for two whole hours, and not one person had found the golden egg. I was standing in the middle of the backyard, resting a minute, when I happened to glance over and saw something shiny under the seesaw. And sure enough, there it was, the golden egg, hidden in the grass, just sitting there waiting for me. Essie Rue was mad as a wet hen. She had wanted to find it, herself, that year, 'cause the grand prize was this big lemon-colored see-through china Easter egg, with the most delicate sparkle dust sprinkled on it. And if you looked inside the egg, you could see a miniature scene of a tiny little family: a mother, a father, and two little girls and a dog, standing in front of a house that looked just like ours. I could look inside that egg for hours.... I wonder whatever happened to that egg. I think it got sold in the porch sale we had during World War One.

"Easter was always a lucky day for me. That was the day the good Lord let me know I was going to have Albert.

'"Sometimes when I think of other people's troubles, I realize how lucky I was to have gotten Cleo. I couldn't have asked for a better husband. Didn't have a roving eye, didn't drink, and was he smart. I'm not bragging, because I don't do that, but it's the truth. Just had a naturally keen mind. Never had to dig for anything. I used to call him my dictionary. Whenever I was struggling, trying to write something or other, I'd call out to him, 'Daddy, how do you spell this word or that word?' He could spell anything. And he knew history. You could ask him any date and there it would be, right on the tip of his tongue. And I never saw anybody who wanted to be a doctor more than he did... wanted to be a surgeon. I know it like to broke his heart when Poppa died and he had to come out of medical school, but I never heard him say a word about it, not once.

"And he was loved. You ask anybody that knew him, and they will tell you that there wasn't a sweeter man on earth than Cleo Threadgoode. "But young girls are funny. They want dash and sparkle and romance. Cleo was kinda quiet. He wasn't the one I wanted at first, but I was the one he wanted. He said he made up his mind the first night he came back home from college and saw me out in the kitchen helping Sipsey cut the biscuits on that big white tin table.

He walked into the parlor, where Momma and Poppa Threadgoode were, and he said, I’m going to marry that big girl out in the kitchen cuttin' biscuits.' Made his mind up in just a flash. But then, all the Threadgoodes were like that. I was only fifteen at the time, and I told him I wasn't interested in getting married to anyone, that I was too young. He said he'd try again the next year, and he did, and I still wasn't ready. I married him at eighteen, and I still wasn't ready.

"Oh, at first I was afraid Cleo wasn't the right one, and I cried to Momma Threadgoode that I thought I had married the wrong man. Momma said not to worry, that I would learn to love him." She turned to Evelyn. "I just wonder how many people never get the one they want, and wind up with the one they're supposed to be with. Anyhow, when I look back on all the years of happiness I had with Cleo and I think that I could have turned him away, it just makes me shudder.

"Of course, when I married Cleo I was green." She chuckled. "I'm not gonna tell you how green I was. I didn't know a thing about sex or what was in back of it or anything, and I'd never seen a man before, and, honey, that'll scare you to death if you're not prepared for it. But Cleo was so sweet with me, and by and by, I got the hang of it.

"And in all those years of marriage I can honestly say that there was never an unkind word passed between us. He was my mother, father, husband, teacher. Everything you could possibly want in a man. Oh, and it was so hard the times we had to be separated. First, the world war, and then, I had to stay home again with Momma when he was putting himself through chiropractic school. Cleo was a self-made man. Didn't get help from anyone. Didn't complain, just did it. That was Cleo.

"And all those years we tried to have a baby and couldn't, he never said a word to make me feel bad, and I know how much he wanted children. Finally, when the doctor told me that my problem was a tipped uterus and that I would never have a baby, Cleo just put his arm around me and said, That's all right, honey, you're all I need in this world.’ And he never made me feel any different. But, oh, how I wanted to give him a baby. I'd pray and pray and I'd say, "Oh Lord, if it's something I've done, if that's why you've made me barren, please don't make Cleo suffer for it.' Oh, I agonized over it for years.

'Then, one Easter Sunday I was sitting in church and Reverend Scroggins was telling us the story of our Lord ascending into heaven, and I closed my eyes and thought how wonderful it would be if I could raise up my arms and ascend into heaven with Jesus and bring home a little angel for Cleo. Just as I was thinking so hard, a beam of sunlight shot right through the top of the stained glass window and hit me like a spotlight. That light was so bright that it blinded my eyes, and that stream of light stayed shining on me for the rest of the sermon. Reverend Scroggins said afterwards that he couldn't take his eyes off me while he was talking, that my hair lit up like fire and I simply glowed. He said, 'You sure picked the right seat this Sunday, Mrs. Threadgoode.'

"But I knew right away that that was God's way of telling me that he had answered my prayers. Alleluia. Christ is risen. The Lord is risen, indeed.

"I was thirty-two years old when Albert was born. And you never saw a happier daddy than Cleo Threadgoode.

"Albert was a big baby. He weighed twelve and a half pounds. We were still living at the big house at the time, and Momma Threadgoode and Sipsey were upstairs with me and Cleo was downstairs in the kitchen with everybody else, waiting. That afternoon, Idgie and Ruth came over from the cafe and Idgie brought a bottle of Wild Turkey whiskey and was sneaking it to Cleo in a teacup to help calm him down. That was the only time I know of that Cleo took a drink. Idgie said she knew just how he felt. She had been through the same thing when Ruth had her baby.

“They said when Sipsey handed Albert to Cleo for the first time, he just burst into tears. It wasn't until later that we found out there was anything the matter.

“We noticed that the baby was having such a hard time sitting up. He'd try so hard, then he'd just topple over. And he didn't walk until he was twenty-one months old. We took him to all the doctors, all over Birmingham, and they didn't know what the trouble was. Finally, Cleo said that he thought he ought to carry Albert up to the Mayo Clinic, to see if there wasn't something that could be done. I dressed him in his navy suit and his little cap, and I remember it was a cold, wet day in January, and when Cleo and the baby got on the train and it pulled out, little Albert turned around in Cleo's arms, looking for me.

"It hurt me so to see them go. When I walked home I felt like somebody had just pulled the very heart out of me. They kept Albert up there for three weeks, giving him test after test, and I prayed every minute they were gone, 'Please, God, don't let them find anything wrong with my baby.’

"When Cleo and Albert came back home, the first day, Cleo didn't say a word to me about what they found out, and I didn't ask. I guess I didn't want to know. He brought me the cutest picture that he had made up there in a penny arcade of he and Albert sitting on a half moon, with stars in the background. I still have that picture on my dresser and I wouldn't take a million dollars for it.

"It wasn't until after supper, when he sat me down on the sofa. He held my hand and said, 'Momma, I want you to be brave.' And I felt my heart drop to my knees. He told me that the doctors found out that our baby suffered a brain hemorrhage at birth. I asked him, 'Is he gonna die?' Cleo said, 'Oh no, honey, he's physically as healthy as he can be. They checked him from top to bottom.' When I heard that I felt as if a hundred-pound weight had been lifted off my chest. I said, 'Thank God,' and got up, but Cleo said, 'Now, wait a minute, honey, there's something else you have to know.’ I told him that as long as the baby was healthy, I didn't care about anything else. He made me sit back down and he said, 'Now, Momma, this is something very serious that you and I are going to have to discuss.' Then he went on to tell me that the doctors up to the clinic said, although Albert may very well be physically sound and live a long and healthy life, that most likely he will never develop mentally past the age of four or five years. That he would remain a child all his life. And sometimes the burden of having a child like that, one that required constant attention, was too great Cleo said that there are special places that... I stopped him right in midsentence. 'Burden!' I said. 'How could that precious, sweet baby ever be a burden?' How could anybody ever think such a thing? Why, from the minute he was born, Albert was the joy of my life. There wasn't a purer soul that ever lived on this earth. And years later, whenever I would get to feeling a little down, I would just look at Albert I had to work every day of my life to be good, and it was just a natural thing with him. He never had an unkind thought. Didn't even know the meaning of the word evil.

"A lot of people might have been sad to have a birth-injured child, but I think the good Lord made him like that so he wouldn't have to suffer. He never even knew there were mean people on this earth. He just loved everybody and everybody loved him. I truly believe in my heart that he was an angel that God sent down to me, and sometimes I cain't wait to get to heaven to see him again. He was my pal, and I miss him... especially at Easter.” Mrs. Threadgoode looked down at her hands.

"Well, now that it looks like I'm gonna be here for a little while yet, I've been thinking about that picture I have in my bedroom at home, of that Indian maiden paddling her canoe down the river in the moonlight. She's fully clothed, so I'm gonna see if Norris will go over and bring it to me whenever he gets the chance."

Mrs. Threadgoode pulled something out of the Cracker Jack box and all of a sudden her eyes lit up. "Oh Evelyn, look! Here's my prize. It's a little miniature chicken... just what I like!" and she held it out for her friend to see.

DECEMBER 30, 1939

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