Gopher Bite Report

Bertha Vick reported that Friday night, at about 2 A.M. in the morning, she went to the bathroom and was bitten by a gopher rat that had come up through the pipes and into her toilet. She said she ran and woke up Harold, who did not believe her, but he went in and looked, and sure enough, there it was swimming around in the toilet.

My other half said that the floods must have been the reason it came up through the pipes. Bertha said she did not care what caused it, that she would always be sure to look before she sat down anywhere.

Harold is having the gopher rat stuffed.

Was anybody else's light bill high this month? Mine was very high, which I think is strange, but my other half was off for a week, fishing with his brother Alton, and he is the one who always leaves the lights on. Let me know.

By the way, Essie Rue has a job over in Birmingham, playing the Protective Life organ for the "Protective Life Insurance Company Radio Show" on W.A.P.I., so be sure and listen.

... Dot Weems...

JANUARY 19, 1986

Mrs. Threadgoode guessed that Evelyn hadn't come out to the nursing home that Sunday, and she was taking a walk on the side corridor, where they keep the walkers and the wheel-chairs. As she turned the corner, there was Evelyn, sitting all by herself in one of the wheelchairs, eating a Baby Ruth candy bar, with big tears streaming down her face. Mrs. Threadgoode went over to her.

"Honey, what in the world is the matter?"

Evelyn glanced up at Mrs. Threadgoode and said, "I don't know," and continued to cry and eat her candy.

"Come on, honey, get your purse, let's walk a little." Mrs. Threadgoode took her hand and pulled her up from the chair, and began to walk her up the corridor and back.

"Now, tell me, honey, what is it? What's the matter? What are you so sad over?”

Evelyn said, "I don't know," and burst into tears all over again.

"Oh sugar, things cain't be all that bad. Let's start one by one, and you tell me some of the things that are bothering you.”

"Well... it just seems like since my children went off to college, I just feel useless."

Mrs. Threadgoode said, "That's perfectly understandable, honey, everybody goes through that."

Evelyn continued, "And... and I just cain't seem to stop eating. I've tried and tried, every day I wake up and think that today I'm gonna stay on my diet, and every day I go off. I hide candy bars all over the house and in the garage. I don't know what's the matter with me."

Mrs. Threadgoode said, "Well, honey, a candy bar's not gonna hurt you."

Evelyn said, "One's all right; not six or eight. I just wish I had the guts to get really fat and be done with it, or to have the willpower to lose weight and be really thin. I just feel stuck... stuck right in the middle. Women's lib came too late for me... I was already married with two children when I found out that I didn't have to get married. I thought you had to. What did I know? And now it's too late to change... I feel like life has just passed me by." Then she turned to Mrs. Threadgoode, tears still running down her face. "Oh Mrs. Threadgoode, I'm too young to be old and too old to be young. I just don't fit anywhere. I wish I could kill myself, but I don't have the courage."

Mrs. Threadgoode was appalled. "Why, Evelyn Couch, you mustn't even think such a thing. That's like sticking a sword in the side of Jesus! That's just silly talk, honey—you've just got to pull yourself together and open your heart to the Lord. He'll help you. Now, let me ask you this. Are your breasts sore?"

Evelyn looked at her. "Well, sometimes."

"Does your back and legs ache?"

"Yes. How did you know?"

"Simple, honey. You're just going through a bad case of menapause, that's all that's the matter with you. What you need is to take your hormones and to get out every day and walk in the fresh air and walk yourself right through it. That's what I did when I was in it. I used to burst into tears eating a steak, just thinkin’ about that poor cow. I like to have drove Cleo crazy, crying all time, thinking nobody loved me. And whenever I’d get to pestering him so bad, he'd say, 'Now, Ninny, it's time for your B-12 shot.' And he'd give me a B-12 shot right in the backside.

"I got out and walked every day, alongside the railroad tracks, up and down Just like we're doing now, and pretty soon I had walked my way right through it and I was back to normal."

"But I thought I was too young to be going through it," Evelyn said. "I just turned forty-eight."

"Oh no, honey, lots of women go through it early. Why, there was this woman over in Georgia who was only thirty-six years old, and one day she got in her car and drove right up the stairs of the county courthouse, rolled down her window, and tossed her mother's head, that she had just chopped off in her kitchen, at a state policeman, and hollered, 'Here, this is what you wanted,' and drove right back down the courthouse stairs. Now, that's what an early menapause will do for you if you're not careful."

"Do you really think that's what's the matter with me? Is that why I've been so irritable?"

"Sure it is. Oh, it's worse than a merry-go-round... up and down, down and up... and as far as your weight goes, you don't want to be skinny. Why, just take a look at all these old people out here, most of them are just skin and bones. Or just go to the Baptist hospital and visit the cancer ward. Those people would love to have a few extra pounds. Those poor souls are struggling to keep weight on. So, stop worrying about your weight and be thankful you're healthy! What you need to do is to read your daily Word, along with Psalm Ninety, every morning, and it will help you just like it did me."

Evelyn asked Mrs. Threadgoode if she ever got depressed.

Mrs. Threadgoode answered truthfully. "No honey, I cain't say I have been lately, I'm too busy being grateful for His blessings—why, I've had so many blessings I cain't even count them. Now, don't get me wrong, everybody's got their sorrows, and some more than most."

"But you seem so happy, like you never had a care in the world."

Mrs. Threadgoode laughed at the thought. "Oh honey, I've buried my share, and each one hurt as bad as the last one. And there have been times when I've wondered why the good Lord handed me so many sorrowful burdens, to the point where I thought I Just couldn't stand it one more day. But He only gives you what you can handle; and no more... and I'll tell you this: You cain't dwell on sadness, oh, it'll make you sick faster than anything in this world."

Evelyn said, "You're right. I know you're right. Ed said maybe I should go and see a psychiatrist or something."

"Honey, you don't need to go and do that. Anytime you want to talk to someone, you just come and see me. I'd be happy to talk to you. Be more than happy to have the company."

"Thank you, Mrs. Threadgoode, I will." She looked at her watch. "Well, I'd better go, Ed's gonna be mad at me."

She opened her purse and blew her nose with a Kleenex that earlier had been full of chocolate-covered peanuts. "You know, I feel better, I really do!"

"Well, I'm glad, and I'm gonna pray for your nerves, honey. You need to go to church and ask the Lord to lighten your burdens and see you through this bad period, just like He's done for me so many times."

Evelyn said, "Thank you... well, I'll see you next week," and headed down the hall.

Mrs. Threadgoode called out after her, "And in the meantime, you get yourself some Stresstabs Number Ten!"

"Number Ten!"

"Yes! Number Ten!"

JUNE 8, 1935

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