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KIM BALDWIN. anyway,” she murmured, almost to herself
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anyway,” she murmured, almost to herself. “But I have a really hard time talking about my feelings to someone I’m dating. It’s not shyness so much...”
Gable didn’t say anything, intrigued by Erin’s sudden need to draw close instead of drawing away. It was the last thing she’d expected, even after Erin’s insistence she was F ne with Gable’s sexuality.
Erin’s gaze had turned inward, unfocused. “I’m not entirely sure why it happens, but I think it has a lot to do with my nightmare of a marriage.” She blew out a breath. “I think that kind of crippled me. I F nd it very difF cult to really get close to anyone.” Erin glanced at her with an unreadable expression. “Tim is a sweet, attractive guy, and he’s really interested in me.”
He’d be a fool not to be.
“I like him. He’s got a great sense of humor and he’s fun to be with.” There was another long pause. “But it feels like something’s…
missing. Like the chemistry really isn’t there. I don’t know, maybe I’m not really giving it a chance. Maybe my past is getting in the way.”
“You’re the only one who can F gure that out,” Gable said gently.
“My brother Stewart always says to go with what your heart tells you.”
“That’s good advice. Well, Tim and I are going out again next week. I’ll keep you posted.”
Not too much detail, please. Gable stif ed a yawn. The lack of sleep the night before was catching up to her.
“I’m going to run so you can get to bed,” Erin said. She leaned over and hugged Gable before getting to her feet. “I had fun tonight.
And thanks for trusting me enough to conF de in me.”
Gable followed her to the door. “Thanks for…well, I guess just thanks for being cool about it…not letting it matter.”
“Gable? Can I ask you another personal question?” Erin was only a couple of feet away, looking at her intently.
Gable held her breath.
“Are you…seeing anyone?”
Gable shook her head, not trusting her voice.
“Ah,” Erin said, turning to go. “Just curious.”
v
• 134 •
FORCE OF NATURE
For the F rst week or so, it seemed as though Gable’s revelation hadn’t altered their relationship at all. On Sunday she and Erin took a shopping excursion to Charlevoix for groceries and odds and ends. Two days later they shared a rented movie and home-cooked meal at Gable’s house, and on Thursday they did the same at Erin’s. And they talked on the phone nearly every evening they weren’t together, catching up on events of the day.
It was still hard for Gable to keep her feelings for Erin hidden, but she was immensely relieved that Erin’s behavior didn’t change. So she was surprised when Erin didn’t call her Saturday night as promised, after her date with Tim. Erin had planned to be home by nine; they were going to a late-afternoon movie and then dinner because Tim had an early EMT shift.
A change in plans; she got home later than she expected, Gable decided the next morning as she made herself a pot of coffee. Or maybeTim stayed over. The thought depressed her. She should be getting used to the idea by now that she would never have Erin. But it just got harder and harder. How will you fall in love with anyone else when you feelthis way about her?
Her doorbell rang. It startled her so much she jumped. She glanced at the clock on the stove. Seven forty a.m. Too early for a casual visitor.
She belted her robe over her pajamas as she headed for the door. Early-morning phone calls always made her think Someone’s hurt! Someone’sdead! Early-morning visitors were usually tourists—snowmobilers or hunters or F shermen—who’d had a breakdown or accident near her remote home.
But it was Erin at the door of the screened-in porch, looking as though she hadn’t slept much. Tousled hair and slightly puffy eyes, like she’d been rubbing them. She had a white paper bag tucked under one arm.
“Hi. You were awake, right? I saw your lights on.”
“Sure, I just made some coffee. Come on in.” Gable stepped aside and Erin came a few steps onto the porch and turned to face her.
“I hope you don’t mind me coming over this early without calling F rst. I couldn’t sleep, so I took a drive. I brought some donuts.” She held up the paper bag.
“Great. Have a seat and I’ll pour us some coffee.”
• 135 •
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