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KIM BALDWIN. Gable poured two mugs full and doctored Erin’s with Equal and half-and-half
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Gable poured two mugs full and doctored Erin’s with Equal and half-and-half. She set them on a tray with two small plates and napkins and carried them back to the porch.
Erin sat in one of the big wicker chairs, watching the profusion of wildlife outside the screen. The feeders Gable had hung from the eaves were crowded with birds, and a dozen squirrels chased each other for the seed that fell to the ground.
“So you couldn’t sleep?” Gable asked, hoping it would start Erin talking. Something had obviously happened. Erin wasn’t her usual upbeat, conF dent self. She seemed withdrawn. I’ll kill Tim if he’s hurther.
“No. I just got to…thinking about things. Got my mind going and couldn’t shut it off.”
“Anything you want to talk about?”
“No.” Erin shook her head. “Not yet, anyway.”
“Okay. Well, I’m here for you if you change your mind.” Gable hid her disappointment.
They sipped their coffee and munched on donuts in silence. Gable caught Erin surreptitiously watching her a couple of times, but each time she glanced at her, Erin would quickly look away. It made her a little paranoid. Is it Tim? Or is it me? Does she suspect how I feel abouther?
“Gable, have you ever been in love?” she asked abruptly. “I mean, where you thought…this is it!”
Gable nearly choked on her coffee. Her mind raced. How the helldo I answer this? She set her cup down on a small table between them.
She didn’t want Erin to see her hands were shaking, so she leaned back in her chair and folded her arms across her chest.
“Well, I’m not exactly Miss Experience in the romance department.
I had crushes, of course. Infatuations. And I’ve dated a few women, but I wasn’t with any one woman for very long.” Gable steeled her nerve. “I did…fall in love. Once. I mean, where it really felt…different.
Special.” She couldn’t look at Erin. “But…she didn’t feel the same. It wasn’t reciprocated.”
“So…you thought you knew. But you were wrong?” Erin asked.
“Yeah, I guess you could say that.”
“I’m sorry. That had to be very hard for you.”
Gable shrugged, unable to answer. Why are you asking me thesequestions?
• 136 •
FORCE OF NATURE
“I don’t know that anybody can give me any answers.” Erin set her mug on the table beside Gable’s. “I told Tim last night that I wanted to just be friends with him.”
Gable’s pulse quickened at the news. “You did?”
Erin stood up and stepped to the screen. She stood there stiff y and stared out. “I may have made a mistake. Not given him enough of a chance. I don’t know.”
It has nothing to do with you. Don’t get your hopes up. Gable bit back her disappointment.
“I’m so confused.” Erin’s voice was subdued. After a long silence, she said, “Tim’s a marrying kind of guy. He was getting too serious too soon.” She closed her eyes. “I don’t think I can give him what he needs. But I don’t know that I would recognize true love if it bit me on the butt.”
Gable tried to dispel the erotic image that popped into her head.
Get your mind out of the gutter. “I wish I knew what to say, Erin.”
“There’s nothing you can say, I guess. I just have to F gure out what the hell is going on with me.” She let out a rueful sigh and then turned to face Gable. “I’m gonna go. Thanks for listening.”
“Any time.” Gable got to her feet. She had an odd sense that Erin wanted something from her. She vacillated, trying to decide if she should delay her on some pretext.
In the end, Erin hugged her good-bye, as she often did, but Gable could have sworn something was different this time. Erin held on just a little longer, embraced her just a little tighter.
Gable felt vaguely ashamed of herself the rest of the day. She was glad that Erin wasn’t seeing Tim anymore. She knew she shouldn’t be. It was obviously upsetting Erin, and she hated to see her friend so morose and confused. Tim might have made her very happy.
But she couldn’t help feeling relieved that for the moment, anyway, there would be no competition for Erin’s time and attention.
v
They chatted on the phone several times during the next few nights, but Erin’s mood did not change. She was subdued and withdrawn, reluctant to share any more of what she was going through, though Gable tried her best to draw her out. Their conversations were brief and
• 137 •
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