Euphemisms

above your ceiling — promoted to a level beyond your abilities

absorption — a military conquest

academically subnormal — of very low ability or intelligence

academic dismissal — expulsion from college

accident — 1) involuntary urination or defecation; 2) an unplanned pregnancy

action — 1) vice or illegal activity, or its proceeds; 2) the brutal harassment of supposed opponents; 3) a chance of casual copulation

adventure — 1) a war; 2) a sexual relationship with other than your regular partner

affair — a sexual relationship with someone other than your regular partner

affair of honour (obsolete) — a duel

alcohol — an intoxicant

all-rounder — a person of both heterosexual and homosexual tastes

ammunition — lavatory paper

angel of the night — a prostitute

answer the call — 1) to die; 2) to urinate

armed struggle (the) — terrorism

at half-mast — with the trouser zip undone

at liberty — involuntarily unemployed

at rest — dead

at your last — about to die

aunt — 1) a lavatory; 2) an elderly male homosexual

baby-snatcher — a person with a much younger regular sexual partner

backdoor — to pass information improperly

backhander — a bribe

backward — 1) very stupid; 2) poor or uncivilized

bad fire (the) — hell

bad man — the devil

bag (the) — dismissal from employment or courtship (a synonym of sack)

bags — trousers

banana republic — a poor and possibly corrupt country

bananas — mentally disturbed

basement (American) — a lavatory

bathroom (American) — a lavatory

be excused — to go to the lavatory

benefit — state aid paid to the needy

better country (a) — life after death

beverage — an intoxicant

beyond help — dead

big — pregnant

big-boned - fat

big С (the) (American) — cancer

big D (the) — death

big house (American) — a prison

big jobs — defecation

birthday suit (your) — nakedness

black lad — the devil

black velvet — a dark-skinned prostitute

blast — an intoxicant

blazes — hell

blue hair — an old woman

blue room — a lavatory on an aircraft

BO (body odour) — the smell of stale sweat

bodily functions — urination and defecation

bouncers — the breasts of an adult woman

box — a coffin

boy scouts (American) — state police

break your neck — to have an urgent desire to urinate

breathe your last — to die

broken home — a family with young children whose parents have parted

brown envelope — a bribe

brown sugar — heroin

bucket — to kill by drowning (a way of disposing of an excess of kittens)

bug — to conceal an apparatus for eavesdropping

bun — a prostitute

bun in the oven (a) — pregnancy

cage — a prison

call (the) — death

call girl — a prostitute

can (American) — 1) a lavatory; 2) a prison

canary — 1) a sexually available female; 2) an informer to the police

candy — illegal narcotics

canned — drunk

cannon — a pickpocket

carpet — to reprimand

carry — 1) to be pregnant (with); 2) to have an illegal narcotic on you

cat — a prostitute

catch — a rich marriageable adult

catch a cold (British) — 1) to contract gonorrhoea; 2) to have a trouser zip undone

cattle — a category of despised persons

cease to be — to die

celebrate — to drink intoxicants to excess

certain age (a) — old

chair (the) —judicial death by electrocution

change (the) — the menopause

chapel of ease — a lavatory

Charlie — a substitution word for a taboo subject (e.g. a prostitute, the male or female genitalia, menstruation, e.g. Charlie's come, a stupid person, cocaine, etc.)

Charlie uncle — a stupid man

charms — the sexual attractiveness of a female

chase the dragon — to smoke a narcotic

chere amie — a sexual mistress

cherry — a woman's virginity

chew a gun — to kill yourself

chi-chi — of mixed white and Indian ancestry

chick — a prostitute

chicken — 1) a youth attractive to homosexuals; 2) coward

child of sin (obsolete) — an illegitimate child

child of Venus — a prostitute

Chinese — is used in phrases to indicate dishonesty, wiliness, duplicity, or muddle, some of which follow

Chinese copy — a production model stolen from another's design

Chinese paper — a security of doubtful value

Chinese tobacco — opium

clean — free from unpleasantness, danger, or illegality

clean house — to remove incriminating evidence

cloakroom — a lavatory

close an account — to kill

close stool — a portable lavatory

closet — a lavatory

close the bedroom door — to refuse to copulate with your spouse,

close your eyes — to die

cock the leg — to urinate

cock the little finger — to be addicted to alcohol

cold — 1) dead; 2) not easily susceptible to sexual excitement

collaborator — a traitor

Colombian gold — high-quality marijuana

coloured — dyed

come home feet first — to be killed

come to your resting place — to die

concrete shoes (in) — murdered and hidden

condition — 1) an illness; 2) a pregnancy

confirmed bachelor — a homosexual

conflict — a war

confrontation — a war

confused — drunk

cook — to kill

cool — dead

cop — a policeman

copper — a policeman

copulate — to tuck

costume wedding — the marriage of a pregnant bride

couch potato — a person who habitually spends leisure time watching

television count (the) — death

country sports — killing wild animals for pleasure

cradle-snatcher — an older person marrying one much younger

credibility gap — the extent to which you are thought to be lying

criminal operation — an illegal abortion

cross-bar hotel (American) — a prison

cuckoo — mentally unbalanced

cut numbers — to make employees redundant

D — anything taboo beginning with the letter D, usually damn, damned, damnable, and the like which used to be less socially acceptable in polite speech than they are today

dark man — the devil

daughter of the game — a prostitute

DCM — a notice of dismissal from employment, the initial letters of ''Don't Come Monday'' (mainly American use: among British railway employees it denoted for one day only)

dead meat — a human corpse

depart this life — to die

deprived — poor

derailed — mad

diet of worms — a corpse

disadvantaged — poor

dispute — a strike

do away with — to kill

down below — the genitalia

downstairs — the genitalia

drop your flag — to surrender

drown your sorrows — to drink intoxicants to excess

Dutch — appears in many offensive and often euphemistic expressions dating from the 17th century antagonism between England and the Low Countries

Dutch bargain — an unfair or unprofitable deal

Dutch concert — a cacophony

Dutch courage — bravery induced by intoxicants, implying a Dutchman is a coward when he is sober

Dutch feast — an occasion where the host becomes

guests are still sober Dutchman — a stupid person Dutch widow — a prostitute

ear — a microphone used in secret surveilance

earth closet — a non-flush lavatory

easy way out (the) — suicide

eat a gun — to commit suicide with a firearm

eat for two — to be pregnant

eat porridge (British) — to be in prison

eccentric — severely ill mentally

economically disadvantaged — poor

economically inactive — unemployed

economical with the truth — lying

elbow-bending — drinking intoxicants

electric methods — torture

elevated — drunk

eliminate — to kill

embroidery — exaggeration or lying

emergency — a war

emotional — drunk

empty out — to urinate

end — to kill

end of desire — a sexual conquest

enjoy Her Majesty's hospitality — to be in prison

enter the next world — to die

equipment — the male genitalia

erase — to kill

eternal life — death

eternity (in) — dead

everlasting life — death

exchange this life for a better — to die

excluded (the) — poor people

expectant — pregnant

extinguish — to kill

eye-opener — an intoxicant or stimulant taken on waking

face your maker — to be mortally ill

facility — a lavatory

fade away — to die

fairy — a homosexual, usually denoting a male taking the female role, but also used collectively

fallen (the) — those killed in war

fallout — radioactive matter introduced into the atmosphere by human agency

family planning — contraception

father of lies — the devil

feather your nest — to provide for yourself at the expense of others

feed the fishes — to be seasick

feed your nose — to inhale illicit narcotics through the nose

feel a collar — to arrest

feel no pain — to be drunk

fifth column — traitors within your ranks

filthy — relating to any taboo act

financially constrained — poor

finish — to kill

fish — a prostitute's customer

fish story — a lie or exaggeration

flexible — unprincipled

fly-by-night — drunk

fly one wing low — to be drunk

food for worms — dead

footless — drunk

forehead challenged — balding

forward at the knees — elderly

four-letter man — an unpleasant person, the letters are S, H, I and T

four-letter word — an obscenity

freedom fighters — terrorists

free love — unrestricted copulation outside marriage

French leave — unauthorized absence

freshen a drink — to serve more alcohol

fruitcake — a mentally abnormal or eccentric person

fruit salad — a mixture of illegal narcotics

fry — to kill or be killed

full in the belly — pregnant

funny — 1) unwell; 2) (of a male) homosexual; 3) mad

funny money — cash which cannot be spent openly

G — anything taboo beginning with the letter G (a mild expletive, usually spelt gee, a shortened form of jeez, from Jesus; in America, the leader of a gang of convicts, or a gallon of whisky; a G-man is a federal agent, working for the US government, a G-nose sniffs narcotics)

gain — to steal

garden of remembrance — the curtilage of a crematorium

gargle — an alcoholic drink

gathered to God — dead

gay — enjoying or doing something which is the subject of a taboo. Now standard English for homosexual

gentleman — a lavatory exclusively for male use

geography — the location of a lavatory

get it — to be killed

ghost — 1) a fictitious employee; 2) a writer whose work is published under another's name

girl — 1) a prostitute; 2) any female less than 50 years old

girls (room) — a lavatory for exclusively female use

give (someone) the air — to dismiss from employment

give your life — to be killed in action

glass — an intoxicant

go into the streets — to become a prostitute

gold-digger — a woman who consorts with a man because he is rich

golden years (the) — old age

gone — 1) pregnant; 2) drunk or under the influence of narcotics

gooseberry — the devil

grape (the) — wine

grass — marijuana

great certainty (the) — death

great majority — the dead

Greek way (the) — pederasty

guest — 1) a prisoner; 2) a customer

H — anything taboo beginning with the letter H (usually hell inthe expression "What the H?"), in addict use, heroin

habit — an addiction to narcotics

haircut — a severe financial loss

hairpiece — a wig

half-deck — a mentally disturbed person

half-seas over — drunk

hand — an employee

handicap — a mental or physical defect

handshake — a supplementary payment on leaving a job

happy event — the birth of a child

happy release — the death of a terminally ill patient

hard of hearing — deaf

hard room — a prison cell

hard up — poor

Harry — the devil

head(s) — a lavatory on a ship

head case — an idiot

headhunter — a recruiting agent

help yourself— to steal

hereafter (the) — death

high — drunk or under the influence of narcotics

higher state (of existance) (a) — death

high forehead (a) — baldness

historic — old

hit the bottle — to drink intoxicants to excess

holiday — a term in prison

holyweek — the period of menstruation

home economics — cooking and house-keeping

homo — a homosexual

hook — to steal

hooker — a prostitute

horny — 1) the devil; 2) excited sexually

horse — heroin

hospice — an institution for the incurable or dying

hospital — an institution for the insane

hostess — a prostitute

hot pants — an indication of sexual arousal (in Britain, where men wear trousers, only used about a female, but in America it may apply to both sexes)

hot place (the) — hell

hot seat — an electric chair used for execution

house — a brothel

house of correction — a prison

human intelligence — the use of spies

human resources — personnel

hygiene facilities — a lavatory

I hear what you say — I do not agree with you (a convenient form of words because it avoids the need to enter into discussion or argument)

impaired hearing — deafness

improving knife (the) — cosmetic surgery

incident — a war

indescribables, inexpressibles (obsolete) — trousers

in for it — pregnant (a common use, especially of pregnancy outside marriage)

in heaven — dead

inner city — slum

inquisition — torture

intact — still a virgin

intelligence — spying

in the arms of Morpheus — asleep

in the churchyard — dead and buried

in the departure lounge — about to be dismissed from employment

in the family way — pregnant

in the glue — in personal difficulty, unable to move freely

in the skin — naked

in the soil — dead

in the trade — earning a living by prostitution

in trouble — 1) pregnant; 2) detected by the police in criminal activity

intruder — an armed invader

John — a lavatory

John Barleycorn — whisky

Johnnie's out of jail (American) — your trouser zip is undone

Johnny — a contraceptive sheath

jolly — drunk (an old variant of merry)

joy — heroin

jug— 1) a prison; 2) an intoxicant

jugs — the female breasts

juice (the) — 1) intoxicants; 2) semen

knobs — the female breasts

knockers — the female breasts

labour — childbirth

ladies — a lavatory exclusively for female use

ladies' man — a man who delights in the company of women

lady-in-waiting — a pregnant woman

land of forgetfulness (the) — death

land of Nod (the) — sleep

language — swear words

last call (the) — death

late — 1) dead; 2) failing to menstruate when expected with fears of unplanned pregnancy

laughing academy — an institution for the insane

lay down your life — to be killed in wartime

leave the room — to go to the lavatory

left-handed wife — a woman living with a man to whom she is not married

legal resident — a spy accredited as a diplomat (as different from the illegal resident who spies in the host country under cover)

liberate — 1) to conquer; 2) to steal

lift a leg — 1) to urinate; 2) (of a male) to copulate

lift your little finger — to drink intoxicants

light in the head — of low intelligence

limited — idle, stupid, or incompetent

live by trade — to be a prostitute

live in (mortal) sin (of a couple) — to live together without being married

loaded — drunk

locked — drunk

long home (your) — death

loo — a lavatory

look in a cup — to foretell the future

Lord of the Flies — the devil

Lord sends for you (the) — you are dead

lose the vital signs — to die

lose your (good) character — to be discovered in any impropriety

lose your lunch — to vomit

love affair — a short-term sexual relationship

love child — an illegitimate child

love nest — a place in which a mistress is housed

low girls — prostitutes

madam — the female keeper of a brothel

magic word (the) — please

make a decent (an honest) woman of — to marry a woman you have impregnated

make a hole in the water — to kill yourself by drowning

meet your Maker — to die

men ('s room) — a lavatory for male use only

mercy death — the murder of a patient thought to be terminally ill

modern conveniences (British) — a lavatory and bathroom indoors

moon people — lunatics

narrow bed — a grave

needlepusher — a person addicted to illegal narcotics

negative cash — debt

negative growth — a decline

negatively privileged — poor

Neopolitan bone—ache — syphilis

nervous breakdown — a severe mental illness

neutralize — to kill

Nick — the devil

night (the) — death

nightcap — a drink of intoxicant

nightclub hostess — a prostitute

night girl — a prostitute

night stool — a portable lavatory

no comment —I admit nothing

no longer with us — dead

no more — dead

not at home, not in — at home but unwilling to see or speak to a caller

notice — dismissal from employment

not long for this world — about to die

OD yourself — to commit suicide (taking an OD, or overdose, of drugs, legally or illegally acquired)

off the payroll — dismissed from employment

off the rails — being detected in reprehensible conduct

oil — to bribe

oldest profession (the) — prostitution

old maid — an unmarried woman who is unlikely to marry

one foot in the grave — near death

one for the road — an extra drink of intoxicant before leaving company

one-way ride — an abduction where the victim is murdered

on the needle — addicted to illegal narcotics taken by self—injection

on the shelf— (of a female) unmarried and unlikely to marry

on the take — accepting bribes

orientation — homosexuality

outhouse — a lavatory

over-privileged — rich

pavement people — homeless beggars

pay lip service — insincerely to say you agree with or support

people cuts — the dismissal of employees

periodic rest — a term in prison

persona non grata — someone caught spying

pill (the) — a contraceptive taken orally by females

pine overcoat — a coffin

place — a lavatory

place of ill fame — a brothel

politically correct — conforming in behavior or language to dogmatic opinions

powder — a narcotic taken illegally

powder room — a lavatory for the exclusive use of females

powder your nose — to go to the lavatory

precautions — contraception

present — a bribe

preventive — a contraceptive sheath, also protector

Prince of Darkness — the devil

private parts — the human genitalia, also privities and privy parts

privileged — rich

queen — a male homosexual

queer — 1) drunk; 2) homosexual

quickie — a drink of intoxicant

quit — to die

raincoat — a private investigator

red lamp — a brothel

redundant — dismissed from employment

refresher — a drink of intoxicant

remains — a corpse

removal— 1) a murder; 2) dismissal from employment

rest home — an institution for the aged or mentally ill

restorative — a drink of intoxicant

retiring-room — a lavatory

reviver — a drink of intoxicant

room and board with Uncle Sam (American) — imprisonment

sack (the) — dismissal from employment

saddle-soap — flattery (its quality is to make the seat more comfortable by softening it)

sanitary man — a cleaner of lavatories

seat — buttocks

senior citizen — an old person

sensitive payment — a bribe

separate — to cease living together as man and wife

separation — death

six feet of earth — death

slow — stupid (of children) (slow upstairs is used only of adults)

smallest room (the) — a lavatory

so-and-so — a mild insult

social disease — a venereal disease

soft soap — flattery

something for the weekend — a contraceptive sheath

souvenir — an illegitimate child

spend more time with your family — to be dismissed from employ ment

stand before your Maker — to die

standstill — an attempt by government to restrict pay increases

stool-pigeon — a police informer

stupid — drunk

sweeten — to bribe

swell — to be pregnant

tail-pulling — the publication of a book at the author's expense

take a drink — to be alcoholic

take for a ride — to murder

take home — to die of natural causes

take leave of life — to die

take needle — to inject narcotics illegally

take refuge in a better world — to die

take too much — to be drunk

taste for the bottle — an addiction to alcohol

thick — stupid (a shortened form of thick in the head)

touch signature — a fingerprint

tumour (a) — cancer

turn up your toes — to die

turn your face to the wall — to die

unbalanced — of unsound mind

underachiever — an idle or stupid child

underpriviliged — poor or illiterate

under the counter — illegal

under the influence — drunk

under the table — very drunk

under the weather — unwell

undiscovered country (the) — death

united — dead

unknown to men — a virgin

unmentionables — 1) (obsolete) trousers or undergarments, also unexpressibles, unspeakables, unwhisperables, indescribables and inexpressibles; 2) haemorrhoids

unplugged — mentally ill

unscrewed — mad

unsighted — blind

unwell — drunk

unwired — mentally unbalanced

use a wheelchair — to be physically incapable of walking

used — second-hand

verbally deficient — unable to read

vertically challenged — of short stature

visually challenged — ugly

visually impaired — blind or with very poor eyesight

vital statistics — the measurement of a woman's chest, waist and buttocks

WC — water closet — a lavatory with a flush mechanism

wallflower — a young woman who is failing to attract a male companion

way of all flesh (the) — death

weaker half (the) — females

weed (the) — a taboo substance which is smoked

wet job — a murder

wetness — sweat

wet nurse — a woman paid to suckle another's baby

what you may call it — any taboo object

whistleblower — a person who reveals damaging confidential information

white elephant — an unwanted possession

wipe off, wipe out — to kill

wired to the moon — mentally abnormal

with child — pregnant

with learning difficulties — unable to keep up with your peers in class

with us no more — dead

woman of the town — a prostitute

wooden box — a coffin

working girl — a prostitute

work the streets — to be a prostitute

wrinkly — an old person

write off — to kill or destroy

you-know-what — any taboo subject within the context

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